It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
