What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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