And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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