No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
