she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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