Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
