man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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