Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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