High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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