I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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