I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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