just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
