It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
