frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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