I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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