Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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