I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
