new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
