too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
