Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
