Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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