So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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