if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
