it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
