I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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