I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
