Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
