So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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