I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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