I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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