I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
