I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
