butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
