More tranny stories later!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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