it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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