I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
