Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
