I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fuck appropriateness.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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