last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i think my cat just said my name.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
