Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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