I wish my penis had an off switch
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize