what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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