you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
