It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
