He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize