i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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