I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
is it fun? or sober?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
