Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
