I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
