so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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