So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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