i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
