Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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