You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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